Valentine's Day

Do you like Valentine's Day? Do you do anything special? Do you do anything for your kids?
I have to be honest, I am not a big fan of this day. I hate being told that I am suppose to tell someone I love them. I don't want flowers or anything else just because I am suppose to get them. I want it on a day when my husband is thinking of me and wants me to know how much he loves me, not just because he is suppose to. We don't usually don't anything big for this "holiday". We will usually go out sometime around the day to say we have celebrated it. We don't celebrate things on the correct day anyways but one year before we had kids we tried to be really traditional and actually go out to eat that night. Yeah right. It was like a two hour wait or longer. We were not going to do that when we could go out any night.
I have never done anything for my kids either on this day. Usually after a holiday and I am reading my friends blogs about what cute things they did for their kids for that day, I always think, next year it will be better and I will have a special day with the kids.
I was actually thinking ahead last year and went to the store days after Valentine's day and got the clearance Valentine plates and napkins and such saying, next year it will be great and we will celebrate in style...then we moved.
I knew exactly where my Valentine plates and such were in the duplex, but luckily all the many times we have dug into boxes, I found my sack and pulled it out so I could use them this year.
I hoped to make it special for my kids and that they would be so excited about it. I didn't get them anything but a little heart of chocolate and some sweethearts, maybe I should have done more but what I did was a lot compared to what I usually do. I was wishing that I had my cookie cutters out and could use my heart shaped ones but that will just have to be next years surprise.
I like when these little holidays are on Saturdays because then I can actually make a nice breakfast but, because I love my kids so much, I got up much earlier then I usually do and make pink pancakes and had diced strawberries and whipped cream for them. I don't know if they truly appreciated them like I would have liked them to, but I did make a conscious effort to make them feel a little bit extra special and have it be a different kind of day.
I even cut out hearts and wrote them a little Valentine and made Chris write them a little Valentine and in the true Chris self he wrote a valentine joke, which they loved and read over and over and laughed and laughed. They didn't read my gushy-mushy one more then once...*sigh*...I tried:)
 

The beautiful flowers that Ty & Katie sent me were a lovely center piece.

I did pick up Peanut Butter M&Ms for Chris so I guess I did get him something. They were a nice little bit of extra that I needed on the table to top it off.

I colored the milk and pancakes pink, and had as much pink things to eat that day that I could think of and we had on hand.

I also cut out hearts and Chris taped them up on the kids door to heart-attack their door. They thought that was pretty fun and Allison decided that it was her code. You had to enter the correct one before going in there.

I absolutely love these two...

However, the day of love I believe I ended the day yelling at these two...oh no, I remember what it was now. At dinner I had a pitcher of tropical punch (red) juice.  Allison was messing around and spilled a whole bunch of red juice on the tan carpet!!!! Yep,  I was NOT happy. I would have freaked out on her but luckily Chris was there to take over and I found the carpet cleaner in a box and he cleaned it up. She went to bed immediately and THANKFULLY Chris was able to get it all out and you can't even tell where it was now, luckily. Yep, a great end to a day of love:)

The Move to Virginia

Moving to Virginia (or anywhere for that matter) has been bitter-sweet. It is something that we have been praying for, for three years. However, leaving such a great area and such wonderful friends is not ideal.

It was definitely a whirl-wind once we decided that I was in fact going to be moving with Chris instead of sending him to Virginia by himself. We had a lease that was up June 1, 2013 and didn't know if we should all go and pay two rents or just send Chris and have him just be in a little studio apartment and just pay one and a half. Thinking about being apart for six months was not ideal and after being apart for just five weeks last summer, we decided that for the good of our family we needed to stay together no matter what that would cost us. We had almost three weeks to pack and get ready to leave. We were headed out of town the last week of December and as soon as we got back we had to leave. We packed and packed and packed. I may have overdone it a bit but we got it done. I cleaned and cleaned before we left out of town. We got back late Wednesday night, January 2, 2013. I had one last girls night at Yogurtland before we left. Thursday morning I went and got donuts and waters for those that were coming to help us pack up the truck. People started showing up around ten. There were nine adults that showed up and about six cub scout aged kids. Everything was downstairs except our bed and so it only took us 45 minutes to pack the truck. After everything was packed we finished up some errands before leaving like taking Chris' car to the Glade's house since Chris was driving the truck and I was driving the van. Michael had volunteered to take a road trip half way to meet us with our car, because he didn't feel comfortable with Chris having a trailer with the car onto the back of the truck. They said they loved road trips and after much convincing from them we agreed to that.

We left Bryan, TX about two in the afternoon. It was sad, very sad actually. We went and said goodbye one last time to a couple more friends before we left and well lets just say that the faucet was running. SO HARD TO LEAVE.  At Yogurtland the night before, Kimberlee Miles gave me homemade pillowcases, embroidered with the kids names on them, STUFFED full of coloring books, activity books, sticker books, coloring twistable crayons, and games. What lucky kids. They loved them and love sleeping on their very own pillowcases. It also reminds them of Sister Miles all of the time. 

Here is my facebook post in Shreveport, LA.

Facebook: I have shed many tears today leaving my friends. I have also learned that it is really hard to see the road when you are crying so hard. What else do you think about when you are driving across country and your best friend is in another vehicle?

Facebook: We left later then originally planned but we have made it to Shreveport, LA.

Then the next day: 
Facebook: Today's schedule: LA, MS, AL, GA, and hopefully into TN. We will have to see how we do. It is 4am, I am ready to go, but unfortunately my family is still sleeping:) Maybe I am a little anxious to get there if I am up so early.

The next day we drove for about 12 hours. 

Facebook: Made it to Knoxville, TN!!! A shorter day tomorrow:)

We made it to Knoxville just in time to turn on the tv to watch the second half of the Texas A&M football game against...oh yeah, Oklahoma. It is so much fun to watch Johnny Football.
The kids did really well in the car. They had their movies and all of the stuff that Sister Miles gave them. They were set.

Then we drove about eight hours on Saturday getting into our apartment complex to sign paperwork and see our apartment for the first time around 3:30pm. We started unpacking the truck around 4pm and got done around 7pm. We tried to call the bishop in our new ward to get people to come help us unload but he had been out of town and didn't get our message. Oh well, we got it done.

Facebook: We made it. Not excited for our accommodations but hopefully it is temporary. Truck is unpacked.

Like I said earlier, it is bitter-sweet. Bitter for me and sweet for Chris (not that he was happy to leave the friends he had there but happy to finally feel like he was worth something and have a real full-time job). It seems as though both of us can't really be happy at the same time. It is just really bad if we are both sad at the same time. For the most part Chris has been sad for the last 3+ years and I have had to be the happy one, which didn't always happen (i.e. last summer) but we survived, mostly because of my in-laws taking me in and helping me. Now he is the happy one and I am the sad one.

Here are Facebook posts since I have been here:

January 6, 2013: Went to church and as soon as we sat down I just broke down sobbing. I don't know anybody and I just left such a great ward with so many friends. I haven't had to move in a long time. Allison told Matthew that mommy was crying because she misses her friends. Allison started crying also. I cried on and off the whole 3 hours. I am not with my Bryan 1st ward friends.
On a plus side, I met a lady that is related to the Bennions from Billings. That was kind of fun.
In between my tears it was also fun to talk to people about Johnny Football...I was wearing my A&M coat:)
It is hard to be new in a ward but I am sure I will adjust eventually.

January 7, 2013: Starting out our drive to VA. I put my visor down and some money fell out. UM.......I don't know where that came from? I am still baffled. When and where did that come from? HOW did you get in my car? I always keep it locked and haven't given the keys to anyone. Maybe my car isn't as locked as I think it is. I am very grateful for the gift but it is a little creepy that someone can get in my car. I accept the money, but could I please find out who this generous person is? THANK YOU!!

January 7, 2013:  After many tears, I finally got Matthew enrolled in school. It only took 3 hours. HOWEVER, I think I have an in with the principal, her husband played football for Texas A&M and is an Aggie fan. She likes me already:) Gig 'em Aggie! WHOOP!! I need to make sure I keep this coat on:)

January 7, 2013: One of the many great things about being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is that the gospel is the same no matter where in the world you are. The people are different but the teachings are the same. After the sacrament prayer Allison said, "Mom, they said the same prayer that they used to say in Texas." Yep, little girl, it doesn't matter where we are it is all the same. It is the gospel of Jesus Christ. We just have to get used to the new people:)

January 8, 2013:  Matthew said he had a good first day of school and Chris is really excited to have a comfy chair, a big desk, an office with a window, teaching less classes, driving less but getting paid more. He even loves that he is getting paid to write his lectures. He also said that everyone he met yesterday is super nice and almost a little too nice, but they were excited that he finally made it.

January 10, 2013: The rest of the family seems to be settling in. I, on the other hand, have just shut down. I am sure I will get over it eventually.

January 11, 2013:  I will be ok but it still blows my mind that this small town Montana girl lives on the East coast now. I am sure it will take some time for that to sink in.

January 12, 2013: I am getting over the fact that I am not in Texas anymore, I don't have any friends around and I don't know where anything in this town is, but I am going stir crazy in our apartment. We don't have internet there to even update my blog or just waste time and everything else is in boxes. I literally have nothing to do so I just sleep all day trying to make the time go by faster. I am hoping that we will be getting internet there soon so I can update and read blogs without having to be at the office the whole time.

January 13, 2013: This is really cool. I am glad that I could be apart of this and thank you to so many that also helped make this happen. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865570523/Mormon-familys-sticker-project-in-Argentina-creates-spreads-holiday-cheer.html?pg=all

January 13, 2013:  Progress! I have made progress:) There were NO tears during church today:) This is a huge accomplishment for me especially considering the amount of tears I shed last week. This is progress:)

January 14, 2013: Things are looking up and I have more of a desire to do things. I have some Allison's scrapbook out to journal and I even practiced some piano. I have exercised and we finally have internet in our apartment. There have been no tears in almost 48 hours:) This is a good sign:) 

January 14, 2013: We finally got someone to take over our duplex lease. It cost us more then we would have wanted but it also saved us some money also so it is good. Paperwork is signed and it is now out of our hands!

January 14, 2013:  Finding someone to take over our lease has made me think about missionary work. Maybe this story can help you:
Our ward had its combined 3rd hour last week and told us the lofty missionary goals they have for this year. We never know who may be searching for a different church or just something different in their lives. If we just open our mouths it may be what somebody is looking for. I told this lady that works at the gym daycare Allison always went to that we were moving and I should have just said, hey you looking for a 3 bd, 2 bth to rent? Of course I wouldn't have thought she would say yes (she saw it on craigslist) but we both probably could have saved more money had I opened my mouth earlier. She had been looking for awhile. Who knows, maybe somebody we talk to all the time is searching for something in their lives and if we invite them to com with us for Family Home Evening, or a ward activity or something, they might find the joy we find in the gospel. Just a little example.

January 16, 2013: These walls must be a lot thinner then the last apartment we were in because we could only hear a crying baby and barking dog then. Now we can hear our neighbors on one side pretty well they have their tv on all the time and talk a lot, and then our new alarm clock is our other neighbors saying, "Come on, it is 6:30 you need to get up and take a shower." I can't believe I can hear them so well through the wall. My 7:00 alarm doesn't need to go off. I do have hope that we won't be here forever:)

January 17, 2013:  It has been raining for a week straight and tonight it turned to sleet and they say it should turn to 3 to 4 inches of snow. Our temperatures are dropping into the teens. There are going to be some very icy roads tomorrow. We are in a winter weather advisory. So far Chris' school is having a late start and I haven't heard about Matthew's school yet. I am guessing they will probably cancel the schools. Welcome to Virginia, wimpy Steph:)

January 17, 2013: One of the many downsides about Matthew having to change schools in middle of the year is that they are having a cumulative test next week on everything they have learned up until this point. (Or maybe it was just last semester but either or, it is a lot to shove down his throat in a week.) His teacher sent home a packet of 8 pages front and back of vocabulary and other different information that they have already studied and taken a test on, but now have the cumulative test. If this was going to have she could have sent it home you know like the first day or two so we would have at least three weeks to drill him. We will just do the best we can and be accepting of the grade he gets. If he does well, great, if not, oh well that is just a downer of moving in the middle.

January 19, 2013:  Allison gets sad every other day or so, and has cried a couple times and when I ask her what is wrong her response is, "I miss Sista Milos." Obviously Kimberlee has left a big impression on her. She will add other friends to her list also but Sista Milos is always there. It could also be that Kimberlee made both the kids pillowcases with their names embroidered on them and she stuffed them with sticker books and coloring books and many other things so every time Allison looks as that pillow or those things, she remembers how wonderful Kimberlee is. We have even called Kimberlee to let Allison talk to her:) Sister Miles is one great lady:)

January 21, 2013: In Allison's prayer tonight: "Please bless that now that we are in Wirginia that we will stop crying" and "Please bless that we can go visit Ewin and Elaina someday." Allison Ames Trousdale it has gone from just talking about it everyday to making it in her prayers. I guess we really need to get together soon.

January 24, 2013:  It snowed again. It is the light and fluffy kind this time. No school closure or delay for Matthew.
It is too cold for me, however the kids love being outside and tromping around in it.

January 25, 2013: It is snowing again...A LOT!! I almost cried realizing that we moved to this!! We were slipping and sliding around in the car already. I better go get me some hot chocolate to make me feel better about this:)

 These were my thoughts at the time so I would like to have these documented as well, especially when I print this out. This is how we have been feeling about the move.

Pre-Approved?

I always thought that pre-approved meant that you would be approved for a loan. I am learning that pre-approval just means that the realtor will let you look at a house that you may not be able to get a loan for. People have been asking how the house is coming along. We are doing everything in our power to get them what they want. 

We went through the pre-approval process and with our good credit they approved us. We went and fell in love with this house. Now this process has gone to the underwriter which we still may not get the loan.

With Chris being in academics, they are paid for nine months, but have a year contract. We haven't been given the option yet of getting paid for 12 months. Anyways, the guy that originally started our loan process put in that we were getting our current amount of money for 12 months, not 9. That is quite a difference. When he sent me that email trying to figure it out and telling me that he had put it in for 12 months I just about started crying. There is a difference obviously and I was so scared. I finally got to talk to him and he said he ran it again for the correct annual amount and we were still approved. Another hurdle we made it over. I was descent in running the hurdles in High School so let's hope we make it to the finish line with these hurdles.

Our next hurdle was the appraisal. We wanted it higher then the amount we are buying it for but you don't want it too high because I believe that is what you pay taxes off of. Thankfully it came back higher then the amount we are buying it for but not too much more. Equity in the house already so that is a good thing if we can actually get it.

So then we move on to the next hurdle. We have spoken to Tim, the one that has got it started and we have met him and signed all the paperwork with him. Now I am talking to Vance who is the loan processor. He is calling asking for more things like statements and information on previous companies we rented from. They have to get verification about how Chris actually gets paid. Verification that he is going to have a job next year. He has sent a request for renters inquiry to the last company that we rented from. I have to wait a couple more days for my bank statements to close for February and then fax those over to him. Hopefully the other things that he has requested will come back soon also. Chris spoke with HR giving them a heads up and they already knew what he was talking about and get that all the time, so that is good. All the information that he gathers goes to the underwriter who I cannot contact so there isn't a conflict of interest. Since we have met Tim and I have spoken to Vance they are now invested in wanting us to get this loan so it has to be a different person. I hope that they can understand how a professor gets paid and that we will have a job in the fall. I hope that they get everything they are looking for and will still approve our loan. It is a little frustrating, wondering if we are going to loose our $3000 earnest money and the $1500 that we have already put into the house for de/re-winterizing, inspections, and appraisal. I hope that we don't loose all of that money and that they go ahead and give us the loan. We are waiting to hear back on whether we will get the loan or not. The seller (aka the bank) still has things on their end to do and our closing date is suppose to be March 25th. We want it all to work out and hope it does but at this point we just have to pray that they understand how Chris gets paid and that they will give us the loan and everything else will work out so we can get the house if that is what is suppose to happen. We just have to have faith. But that is where things stand right now.

I Thought I Was Over It

I keep thinking that I am over all of the emotions of my miscarriage. I am usually able to talk about it and not let it effect me. However, yesterday in Relief Society, there was a lady talking about her stillborn child. That is much worse then what I had to go through but it still brought up lots of emotions. I just put my head down and started quietly crying. The lady next to me knew what I had recently gone through and put her arm around me to comfort me. It made me feel loved, that is for sure. The Relief Society President wondered if it would affect me and sure enough it did. Thankfully it was towards the end of the lesson and I got to go home shortly after. 

The lady that was recalling her experience did come up afterward and asked if she had hurt my feelings or anything. Most of the women in Relief Society don't even know who I am so some were worried and concerned for my fragile state. This lady told me that if I ever needed to talk she would be more then happy to talk to me. 

I was just surprised that I had that kind of reaction because I thought I was over the crying part, but I guess I am not. I am sure I will be and hopefully it is sooner then later but I guess it is not right now. Some day...

Sam's Club (Costco) or Grocery Store?

I need some help from my friends. I really enjoy buying stuff at Sam's Club (or Costco if that is what you use) but is it cheaper? I am have been trying to write prices down and compare a little bit but I just can't figure it out. I thinks some things are cheaper at the bulk stores but for example I bought Strawberries at Kroger 2/$5, recently so I knew how much I paid. I looked at Sam's Club yesterday and they were $2.49/lb, basically the same amount. They I realized I did need to go to Krogers again after going to Sam's Club and the Strawberries were 2/$4. So they were cheaper at Kroger. Do you have any tips for me? Do you use coupons? I would like to find the most cost effective way of buying food but not necessarily spending all of the time cutting out coupons. Do you think the wholesale bulk stores are cheaper and better or do you just buy at the grocery store when it is on sale? Please enlighten me!!!!

Hormones

I have decided I am not a big fan of hormones...and either is Chris.

It has been a week since I found out that we weren't going to be welcoming a little baby into our house in August. That day was obviously the worse and I cried and cried, and then cried some more. The next day I went through the next process that I needed to and have been doing pretty well since, and just trying to move on and get past it. My kids still pray that we will get another baby, which is great but I hate having that reminder at every prayer so I nicely told them not to say that, maybe just in their personal prayers. We have taken the things that we bought back and just maybe trying to forget that it happened. 

Yesterday I was cranky! I could just feel it in my body, I was angry and was not a nice person. Chris told me that I could just go to bed which I was more then happy to, but it was Family Home Evening night. I was not excited to do it but I sat there. As I sat there it just got worse and worse, thinking about our family not getting any bigger. It just all went downhill from there. Feeling like a failure in everything I do, feeling completely worthless, feeling trapped because we have to be so tight with our money right now trying to pay for the things to get this house and trying to make sure we have the money for all the closing costs and down payment. Feeling trapped because there is nothing for me to do, everything is boxed. There was lots of crying and lots of woe-est me going on, poor Chris. I have never noticed hormones before but I have to contribute all of that to hormones.

Today seems to be better so far, not happy but not cranky or crying. I thought I was over all of it but I guess not.

Does anybody know how long after having babies does it take to get hormones back in check?

A Work Family

It is amazing to hear Chris talk about his co-workers. There are only a handful in his department. They go out to lunch every once in awhile and the school pays for it. They are very caring. Chris has a mentor that remembers small details about him and makes sure he is ok.

Chris missed a faculty meeting that he was suppose to be at because he was home taking care of me. He didn't even know about the meeting, I don't think his email has been added to their faculty email or something but he didn't get it. Since he missed it he was going to have to write up a request for 1/2 personal day. He didn't want to tell his boss that he didn't know about it, because that is what his students always say. Even if he had known about it, he still probably wouldn't have been there since he was taking care of me.

He went in and talk to his mentor and told her and his boss what happened with the baby and they told him, that she wasn't going to charge him with a personal day when he was going through that and taking care of me. She said, we are a family here. We care for each other. She said to send her love to me.

Maybe when we get in our house, I love to bake so I will have to bake things and then send them with Chris.

Earthly Father, Heavenly Father

I have been thinking about what a wonderful husband that I have today. My friend, Sharee, posted this video on her blog and it was so touching, especially with the feelings that I have.

I am so grateful for the husband that I have and how much he takes care of us.

Chris has been so great and taking care of everything that needs to get done. Words can't explain how much he means to me. I am glad he picked me many years ago.

Pregnancy Symptoms

I like having a record of things that have happened because my memory fades. 

With Matthew's pregnancy, I didn't have a whole lot of pregnancy symptoms. I did hate the smell of tuna fish though. I had a big belly and my sciatic nerve hurt occasionally and that was just about all of the pregnancy symptoms that I had.

With Allison's pregnancy, I had morning sickness for the first trimester. I felt nauseous a lot and then when I finally threw up I felt so much better. I hate the word cravings, so I won't use that but I did have things that I only wanted to eat, especially Mexican food, which is really weird for me. Other then that I don't remember anything else really affecting that pregnancy.

The third pregnancy, I remember my stomach hurting all the time. It sounds weird but the pregnancy felt weird too. It didn't feel like a normal one especially since my stomach hurt most often after I ate. It felt weird because it was an abnormal pregnancy.

The fourth pregnancy, I didn't feel sick at all at the beginning. So we thought it was going to be a boy since I wasn't sick with Matthew. Then around 7 weeks I started to get nauseous, but only a little bit, and it was only for about an hour and then it went away. When this happened we started thinking that it was a girl. However, it only lasted for about a week and then it went away and I didn't have many other pregnancy symptoms. With this pregnancy however, I had a lot more acne. I couldn't believe how much acne I had and it had to be because of the pregnancy. I never "felt" pregnant until about 13 weeks and then I could feel that I was barely starting to get a tiny bit bigger. We never did find out what I was pregnant with so that is an interesting little question that is unanswered.

We hope to be able to have more children but we will just have to see what Heavenly Father has in store for us. I did want to write down what I can remember from the different pregnancies.

Hoping for THIS house

We were told by the bank that we have used for the past 10+ years that we have to have pay stubs for 3-6 months before they would pre-qualify us for a mortgage. I wonder now if we would have just pre-qualified if we would have actually qualified. I just called and asked a question, they didn't know who I was or what kind of relationship or credit we have with them. It was kind of ok though because we wouldn't have had time to come find a house before we moved. We have looked online for houses for the past two years. Looking are different possible areas of where we might end up. Then we moved here and we have constantly been looking at houses. Kind of a past time for us. We didn't necessarily know how much we would get pre-qualified for but we did have an idea of how much we could put down and then kind of went from there. We (I should say I) was looking at a higher price range then I should. Chris was looking at much lower ones. He found one that had a good layout and was big but needed a lot of work, but it was super cheap. He was really excited about getting such a big house for cheap but I wasn't excited about all the work we would have to put in it and I just didn't feel comfortable with it. He wanted to get a hold of our realtor and see if we could go look at it. We were apparently getting antsy. Our lease doesn't expire until July. I didn't have a great feeling about it and thought, there has got to be something better out there. I started looking some more, in our price range, or so we were hoping and came across a house that was really big, really nice, really close to Chris' work and a lot cheaper then it should have been. We got REALLY excited about it. I was actually so excited about it that I couldn't sleep that night. I had sent an email to our realtor saying, this is a great house, we want to move quickly on this or it will get snatched up. She wouldn't let us go look at it until we got pre-approved. She found out that it was a foreclosure and suggested that maybe we go through the bank that has the house, they might like us more that way. We quickly filled out the pre-qualifying application and sent it in. The guy called us back and said that we were pre-approved!!!! We were so excited to be able to move forward. We went and looked at it and it was like it was in the pictures. It looks like a great house. It was built in 2003. It has 5 bedrooms, 3 full baths, 1 half bath, a big kitchen, an office room, a sitting area, a dining room, the attic is finished so there is a big room upstairs. The master bedroom is way too big and so is the master bathroom. The master bathroom has two big walk-in closets, two different counters and sinks and a big tub and a stand up shower. There is a fireplace, big deck and a sloped back yard. The back yard is lined with trees. We love it. Of course it is not perfect, I don't think we would ever find a perfect house but it is big and cheap and close. We put an offer on it and a week later, they accepted our offer verbally. We signed the counter offer and then they signed all the paperwork so that the house is officially under contract. We are hopeful that everything will go well and that we will get it. We have an inspection tomorrow to see the type of condition it is in. Hopefully all goes well. We are suppose to close on or before March 25th. Hopefully that happens. I will keep you posted. If we get it there will be lots of pictures.
We had our inspection today. We got to be in the house again. The inspection took over 2 hours. All looks fine. There is maintenance things to do, but nothing to make us drop and run.
Being in that house makes me just want to jump up and down and scream with excitement. I really want to get that house!!!!
I so hope we do:)
This is the house we would really like to get!!!!
Fingers crossed, and lots of prayers:)
Lots of room for many visitors!!

 

Allison's 4 Year Appointment

One of the things that I tried to get done was making sure that I got the medical records for our kids. It was one of the last couple days we had but I went in and had them get them for me.
There was a sticky note on Allison's saying that she still needed her four year old well-check and shots. I tried to get her in to see Dr. Svendson once last time since we just think she is such a fabulous dr. but there wasn't any room. So I knew that needed to get done soon after our insurance kicked in.
January 31st I called to schedule her an appointment since our insurance was starting the next day. We got scheduled for February 4th so that was good.
I knew she was going to get shots so I wanted to take her somewhere special when we got done. While talking to our realtor she said, oh you have to try Sweet Frog. She just raved about that place. So I decided that Allison and I would go check out Sweet Frog after her appointment.
When she got called back, Allison went into "Allison mode". She wouldn't talk or look at them. She would only stare at me.  I started thinking, oh man I forgot about this mode. This is her very stubborn mode. It is hard to get her out but I am learning that with her you have to threaten to take something away in order for her to get out of her stubborn ways. I whispered in her hear asking her if she wanted me to take something away. She said no, so I told her then she would need to do what they asked her to do.
I really should have just talked to her before hand about what I expected of her and I don't think she would have gone into her mode but I at least got her out of it and was great after that.
They checked her eye sight and it was 20/30 which she said was good. I guess the very bottom line she couldn't read but everything else was good.
She did a hearing test and did well with that. The lady told her to hold it with her right hand raise her left hand when she heard it. She did and then we went to the other side. She held it with her left hand and when we heard the beep she thought she still had to hold up her left hand so she would put the speaker in the other hand and then raise it. Too cute, just following directions. The lady didn't tell her to raise the right hand now:)
Then we went to see the PA. Allison had to strip down to her panties and then sit up on the table. I could not believe how big she looked up there. The is definitely not a baby (though she still can't always get her r's right) she was so big and did everything the PA asked. Her bigger belly that she always has is even shrinking. She is just getting so big. That kind of thought usually only comes when you bring a new baby home and then you see how big your kids are.
It was a little sad to see she is getting so big but I just love her and she is such a thrill to have around, especially when she actually STOPS talking:) haha    She had to get 3 shots and she just sat up there like a big girl all by herself and just let her do them and there weren't any tears at all.
The PA did everything that was needed for her to go into Kindergarten. One of the things that she had Allison do was draw a shape like hers. Then Allison had to write her name and she did a pretty good job. She is just getting so big.
She is a week away from being 4.5 years old.
She weighs 43 pounds which is 85%
She is 43 inches tall which is 90%
The PA said she looks very healthy and strong and is ready for Kindergarten.

I was so proud of her I told her I was going to take her somewhere special for being such a brave girl.
She originally said that she wanted a cupcake for something special. If we were in Bryan, yeah, I would have known where to go for that but I only had an address for Sweet Frog, premium frozen yogurt.
She was very excited to go there.

On our way, I looked in the mirror and my sweet girl just had tears streaming down her face. She said the finger that they pricked really hurt her. That is where they checked her iron, which was at a good level. Frozen yogurt made it not hurt so bad.
However, three hours later when I went to take her band aid off it starting bleeding really bad again so it obviously was really hurting her. Poor sweet girl. Thankfully it stopped later and didn't hurt anymore.
She did not run any kind of a fever and only once she said that her arm was a little bit sore.
The PA had her do a trick to help it not hurt so bad and I don't know if that is why it didn't hurt as much or if she is just really strong but when she was giving her the shot in her arms, she had Allison make a fist and put it on her hip like she had attitude or something. I don't know what that does for the muscles but it seemed to have worked.

So we got to Sweet Frog, with very cute pink and green colors, and it wasn't open for another hour. There was a McDonald's in the same parking lot so she got a double spoiled. We went and had lunch together at McDonald's.



Then we went to Sweet Frog and they finally opened.
They have peanut butter and chocolate, and yummy other flavors but that was awesome. We needed to go see Chris to sign a document anyways, peanut butter and chocolate is one of his favorites, and we were just down the street so we picked one up for daddy also.

 

 

 

So yummy, and I would even venture to say I would take Sweet Frog over Yogurtland and those that know me from Bryan, know that THAT is saying a lot:)
You will just have to come visit me and I will take you to Sweet Frog!! Deal?

The Saga - Part 3

After the time that I needed to recover, it took us three months to get pregnant again. We were excited but hesitant. As soon as I took a home pregnancy test that I was pregnant (at 4 weeks) I immediately called my doctor's office to try to come in and get my confirmation of pregnancy. I wanted to know that this pregnancy was in my uterus and not somewhere else in my body like last time. They told me that I couldn't come in until I was 7 weeks along. They said they wouldn't be able to see anything. Now I wanted to disagree because when I was pregnant with Matthew I thought I was 7 weeks along because of my abnormal periods but when they checked it was just like a little pea and she said that I was only measuring 4 weeks. So I knew that they would be able to see if it was in my uterus or not but I just said ok and scheduled my 7 week, confirmation of pregnancy appointment. I wanted Dr. Sanders to be my dr since he is the one that went through the last situation with me. They told me that he wasn't actually delivering babies anymore but he would still do my confirmation. After a long three more weeks, I FINALLY got to go to my appointment to see if there was anything in my uterus. We tried to get someone to watch Allison while we went in but it didn't work out so she came with. We gave her our ipod to just play and not pay attention to what was going on because we weren't going to tell the kids yet. Dr. Sanders walked in the room and said, "Ok, let's look at this baby. I have a good feeling about this one." We were hesitant but hopeful.

 He got the ultrasound machine and came in. Up on the screen Chris and I were excited to see a little baby. Bigger then we had expected, probably because we saw Matthew so tiny (a bean size) the first time we saw him. We were excited to see this baby, moving around, we even saw where its arms and legs we starting to form or going to be and the most surprising thing was we saw the heartbeat. We didn't know you could see the heartbeat so early. It made everything more exciting and real. We were going to have a baby. Dr. Sanders said, "You had a 20% chance of a miscarriage before you walked in here today and now that we have seen the baby and heartbeat, you have a 1% chance of a miscarriage."  YAY!! We were so excited. They said the due date would be August 6, 2013. When we walked out to the car we asked Allison what happened in there and she didn't have any idea:) 

 We were excited to tell people, especially ones that didn't know we even wanted anymore. I love telling people face-to-face so started telling a few people that we would talk to. They were so excited for us. I remember telling our friend/Bishop. He kind of gave me the one two about being careful, especially with us moving and how independent I am. I kind of just said, yeah, whatever Micheal I am fine.

 We flew to AZ and got to tell Chris' brother and sister-in-law when we saw them and then we drove to Prescott and gave Chris' parents their Christmas presents with a card that said, from the five of us. They were SO excited. SOOOO excited. Chris dad jumped up and gave me a hug. They were SO excited. Chris' mom said, "Your moving and your pregnant?" Did I say how excited they were? Yep, SO excited. Matthew looked at my and said, "Your not pregnant." I just said, "OK".Chris mom took me out and we started buying some clothes for a baby but it was a little hard since we didn't know the gender. I was a little disconnected with buying stuff just because we still have a big move ahead of us and there was just so much going on before this baby was coming.

 The night we got back from AZ, was our last night in Bryan so I had scheduled to have one last Girls Night Out at Yogurtland with my friends. I barely made it there in time. I was only 9 weeks but I wanted to tell them before I left so during our night I said, "Well, we moved to TX without any kids and now we are leaving with 2.5 kids." They all got very excited to hear my happy news. 

 We had 10+ people that came and helped us load up the truck and we drove three days to get to VA. We tried to get help from our new ward to help us unload the truck but it didn't work out. It took Chris and I three hours but we unloaded the whole truck. It has been a hard time for me moving away from all of my friends and I have cried many tears. It is also hard to have almost everything still in boxes and just trying to survive with what we have out.

 The kids have talked about having a baby for so long and they wanted one so bad. We finally decided around week 10 or 11 that we would tell them our good news. We told them at breakfast and at first Matthew didn't believe us. I had to take the ultrasound picture that we got from Dr. Sanders out and show him. They were beyond excited!!! They talk about it all the time. Asking questions about when the baby gets here. Asking about what they get to help with when the baby arrives. Matthew and Allison hug me tenderly not to hurt the baby. Allison is so much more obedient because she loves me and the baby and wants to make us happy. She does so many things, "Because mommy, you have a baby in your tummy." It has been super fun to go look at baby stuff with them and have them help us decide on things. We went and bought a stroller. We don't have ANYTHING from our other two since we were previously done with having kids. We get to go buy it all over again. It is so fun to see the excitement of the kids and they pray for the baby to grow healthy and strong.

Chris started his job a day after we got here. Our medical insurance started February 1st. I called January 31st to scheduled a dr. appointment for me and that appointment was set up for Wednesday, February 6th. I was only going to meet with the PA that first appointment.

 Wednesday morning, February 6, 2013 I was 14 weeks. We had been here exactly a month. I went to the VA Women's Center. It is right next to a hospital. It was a little bit of a drive, it is in Richmond but the facility is nice. I got there and checked in and waited to be called. A nurse came and got me and we went into a room. There were toys that Allison got to play with while the nurse asked me lots of questions about me health. Finally she said she wanted to listen to the heartbeat. Was I sure I was 14 weeks because she wouldn't want to scare me. Yes, I was 14 that day. She started trying to hear the heartbeat. She could not get it. She tried for a long time and couldn't find anything. Finally she said she was going to go get the other doppler and try, but not to worry it is just probably hiding. I wasn't worried, I know it can be hard to find it. Before she left she asked if I had been having headaches and I said, yes actually. I just attributed that to being pregnant in general. Right after that she left and when she came back she said that we were going to go get an ultrasound done. I was excited because I love seeing what the baby looks like inside. It just makes it so much more real. Allison and I went in and I laid down. The technician had her screen but there was a screen up on the wall for me to look at. She put the warm jelly on my belly and she started looking at the baby. When I saw it, my immediate thought was, wow, it has grown since the last time I saw it and then the first next thought, which I said out loud is, "It isn't moving." The tech said, "when did you notice it not moving?" I said, "when I looked at the screen." I was a little confused, hoping the baby was just sleeping or I was wrong or something, I am not the expert and she put her hand on my hands that were above my belly and she sternly said, "NO." It immediately hit me what she was saying to me. What a sad, sad thing to hear. This was completely unexpected. Totally blindsided. I cried and cried, and Allison was concerned. I brought her over to me and told her that our baby had to go back to Heavenly Father and Jesus. She cried and cried. I tried to help her and she said, "Now we will never get a baby." I tried to be strong and hold back my tears for her. The technician came back and I just wondered if maybe she didn't see something she should have. I asked to try to get some sort of clarification of what happened. When she put the baby back up on the screen Allison saw it and got so excited, "Mommy, the baby is still in your tummy, we will have our baby." I just told her it wasn't and to look at her book that she had with her. 

 The technician looked and said that the placenta and uterus and the baby looked fine. There wasn't anything that she could say that had gone wrong. I asked how long it had been and she said, the baby was 13 weeks, 1 day. Just 6 days ago. She turned on the color that detected movement and it was still just black and white. There was nothing. She checked other things and said, this shouldn't be as dark or this shouldn't be as thick. Completely devastated. I just cried and cried. The nurse that had seen me earlier came in and brought my stuff from the other room and the PA, Elizabeth Crompton came in as well. The nurse gave me my stuff and asked if she could take Allison with her to get some crackers and juice. I was grateful and said, yes please. Elizabeth was so sweet and just talked to me. She sat on the bed with me and rubbed my leg, trying to give me comfort. Answering all of my questions while I cried. She was so so sweet. She suggested that because of the gestation of the baby, I do a D&C. (I thought it was a DNC because D&C is for Doctrine & Covenants, it couldn't possibly be for anything else. I am a naive Mormon girl, that is for sure.) D&C stands for Dilation and Curettage, in case you didn't know that. We scheduled to do a D&C the next day, to get it done and over with.

 I was in the ultrasound room for probably a half hour or more. With my eyes swollen I went and got bloodwork done and then went and found Allison. She had her crackers and juice and just telling everybody everything. She was the life of the party. That nurse Judy was so sweet to take her and watch her so I could just focus on what was going on. They were all so nice.

 Chris was in class when I got home and had a class that night so he wasn't planning on coming home until about 10:30pm. I knew I couldn't wait that long to tell him but I didn't want to go to his office and I didn't want to tell him over the phone so I called him up and told him that he needed to sign some paperwork and I needed him to come home. He asked me how the appointment went and I said we would talk about it when he got home. He said, is it bad? We will talk about it when you get home.

 He got home and I was in my room, on my bed. He came in and I wasn't crying at the moment, though my eyes were swollen. He came to me and said, what is going on? I couldn't even say it out loud to him, I had to whisper, "the baby died." I just burst into tears again bawling. He just held me and said, I am so sorry. After awhile I think he internalized it more. His initial response was that he was sorry for me, but after letting it soak in, he couldn't control holding it in. I haven't seen him cry in about a decade. In fact he will hate that I write this if he ever finds out it is on here but I am writing this for family history. I am going to print this off and it will be something to remember in the future. Needless to say, our family has cried a lot. When Matthew got off the bus I had to break the news to him. He was also sad, obviously. We tried to think about something else and enjoy the family that we have. We all went out to a frozen yogurt place called, Sweet Frog. We have to be thankful for what we do have. Heavenly Father has a plan for us and knows what is best for us. Chris went back to work to concentrate on something else and to teach his class that night.

 I put the kids to bed that night and then just cried and cried. My mom suggested that I get a priesthood blessing.

Chris was in class until late. I only know two families and the bishop in our ward. I called all three of them and nobody answered. I cried and cried knowing that I could have called so many people back in Bryan and they would have been right over. The Elders had been over once to visit us and though I figured they wouldn't really understand my situation they could still give me a priesthood blessing. They brought a guy from our ward who we had actually met our first week, we thought he was a member of the bishopric since he was sitting up there but we found out that he is a member of the Stake Presidency. It made me feel better to have him there and not just the Elders, since they wouldn't understand. I am glad that he came with them.

 Thursday morning we got Matthew on the bus and drove to the hospital to check in. We got there about 8:30ish. Chris and Allison waited with me until I got called back to change. Chris went home with Allison. Laying there on the bed, realizing why I was there definitely brought tears but then the nurses told a funny story and just kept me cheered up. They were great. I waited a long time before finally the Dr. came in to talk to me. So many times I had to tell each new person I talked to what surgery I was getting done. A sad reminder each time but held it together until the Dr. asked me how I was doing. Not many tears but some, understandably. It is just something that had to be done at this point. I remember getting rolled into the surgery room but usually I remember thinking, ok here we go I am going to a great place called sleep. I don't even remember thinking that and they were calling my name, thankfully having no idea what had taken place already. I was just a little sore when I woke up. They were very kind and the dr said everything went just fine. I was finally able to get discharged by 2:30pm just in time to get  to Matthew's bus stop and the bus was still there letting off kids. I am very grateful for the option of D&Cs and that I don't have to go through the other process again.

 I am feeling so much better, I think maybe just to have it over might have a lot to do with it, or to think that I don't have to go through what I did the first time. Emotionally I am feeling better also. My eyes are not as red and swollen as they were Wednesday so that is a good sign:) I don't know why it happened but I know Heavenly Father does and he is mindful of us and he has a special plan for us. We will be OK:)

 This is the end of the saga for the time being. Hopefully there will be more little children that will be able to come join our family but for right now, we love and treasure the two wonderful ones that we have.

The Saga - Part 2

At the end of 2011 we headed to AZ and we knew that as soon as we got back in January we were moving into a duplex that was double the size of our apartment. As we drove to AZ from TX, Chris and I talked about having faith which was sort of hard dealing with still not having a job for two years. Chris finally decided that he would make a "deal" with Heavenly Father that if Chris got a full time job, we would have another baby. What a deal right? Um, I am not so sure you can make "deals" with Heavenly Father. At least he was willing to whenever that was....that he would get a job:) haha

 Then moving into the duplex, Chris decided that he can't really do deals with Heavenly Father. We needed to prove that we would be willing and would like to have another baby, whether we were blessed with a job or not. Chris finally decided it was time for us to bring another baby into our family. 

 We didn't have a problem getting pregnant with Matthew, it only took 3 months. With Allison it only took two months. We this pregnancy we got pregnant the first month!!! HOLY COW after three years of not knowing if Chris would ever be wanting another baby I am FINALLY pregnant!!!! The excitement was almost as much as my first pregnancy. It was almost surreal. We were SO excited to be pregnant. HOWEVER,  not a single person knew that we were trying, nor did a single person know we even wanted more. Everybody knew that we were done. I was so excited to be able to break the news to my friends and family, at three months. Everybody would be so shocked that we were pregnant. I LOVE telling people face to face to see their reaction so you better believe that I was excited to tell people. (Some of you reading this still didn't know this so I am sure you are very surprised at this new revelation) Although I was very excited, I started to get the feeling that this pregnancy was going to end in a miscarriage. It must have been the Holy Ghost preparing me. I just kept telling Chris that I thought this pregnancy wouldn't last. He hated me saying that especially because we have never had any issues in the past. I don't know if it was because a friend had just recently had a miscarriage/stillborn at 21 weeks and I was sort of shaken by that or what but I just didn't feel good about it. 

 At 7 weeks it seemed as though I was starting my period. No hurting just a regular period, but that was weird because the home pregnancy test said that I was pregnant. It started on Friday and my Sunday it was pretty much gone. However, I was scheduled for a confirmation of pregnancy for Monday morning. I called to tell them what happened and they said I should still come in. I figured I had already had a miscarriage, everything was gone and I was just keep on going. 

 I went to an excellent dr, Dr. Sanders at Scott & White Clinic. I told him everything that happened. He checked me and said my body is still showing that I am pregnant. He did an ultrasound and didn't see much in my uterus but saw the bleeding going through. He told me that I was right I was going to have a miscarriage but I thought I already had one, so I wasn't sure what was going to happen. Since I had been having those feelings, I didn't want to connect too much until I found out for sure but nothing seemed to have been like my other pregnancies. It just seemed like a weird pregnancy and since I had already been bleeding, his news that I was going to have a miscarriage wasn't really news, more of a confirmation. He was more shaken up by it then I was. He sent me over to get blood work done. I didn't know what was to come of the physical pain. 

 Still nobody knew anything about us and this chapter. We were just dealing with it my ourselves. I started bleeding again for a couple days and then it stopped. I thought I was completely over it since I had lost so much blood.

 On Sunday Chris stayed home with a sick Allison and I subbed as the Primary Chorister, which I LOVE, but as I was up there doing my thing, I started getting really hot and not feeling well at all. I could feel that I was bleeding again and I had thought I was done so I wasn't prepared and I had a khaki skirt on. As I am leading trying to not let the kids onto the fact that I am not doing well, I start holding on to the podium. I tell the kids that we will sing this one last song and turn the time over to Sister Young (Jamie). She was mentioning to me, know you're fine you can keep going. I started the song and then instead of passing out in front of the kids I just walked straight to the back and told Kimberlee Miles to take over. I went out the back and to the bathroom and just went to my knees. Jennifer Samuelson came in and I felt comfortable enough with her to tell her I was having a miscarriage. She quickly figured out what to do and had her husband take me home, who just so happened to be our home teacher also. I got home and had SO much pain. I laid in bed crying and crying and hurting and hurting and hurting. I then knew that I hadn't actually gone through the miscarriage yet. This was just the beginning.

By the end of the day, numerous people knew what happened. So much for trying to surprise everyone and see their face. I guess it was a surprise but not a good one. We were so well taken care of though and our friends took the kids, brought us dinners, let me cry, gave me advice. I didn't know so many people had gone through a miscarriage. It was definitely so helpful to have people to talk to so I guess I am glad it did get out. I went through days of bleeding and then it would stop and days of bleeding then stop. Finally I was constantly having a pain on my left side. Dr. Sanders had me come in. He was going to give me something to make my uterus contract and finish getting everything out. However, he did an ultrasound and there was NOTHING in there. NOTHING. However my blood work that I have been having to go do every other day, kept going up saying I was still pregnant. I went in his office, (I have never actually been in THE office of a Dr.) That is not a good sign. He asked are you hurting? I said YES!!! All the time, it doesn't go away. I feel like I am living on Tylenol and Ibuprofen. I constantly had a hot pad on me. The kids wondered why I was hurting all the time. We told the kids that my leg was hurt since it was the high, high part of the leg, right in front of the hip bone. He immediately got up and said this go back and look. We went in there and again there was NOTHING. He checked my ovaries and there was nothing. He took pictures and took it to the Main Chief of Fertility, and every other dr in the clinic to see if they had any idea. He looked and looked and couldn't find anything. He said, "You are interesting. Never a good thing for a Dr. to tell you that." Great...nobody knew why my hormone levels were going up as they are suppose to during a pregnancy and why there is nothing in my uterus. He finally called me at home on Friday and said, "I think it is an ectopic pregnancy. However, the only way to know for sure is if we go in and do surgery to find it. I don't think we should do that unless your body won't take care of it, itself." He said, "Once you have one ectopic pregnancy your chances of having another (he said at least double but I want to believe he said it was even higher then that). Anyways, pretty scary. We never did go in for surgery to find if that really what it was but for about three weeks my hormones kept going up and then FINALLY they started coming down. I had to get blood work done at least least times a week to see where I was. He didn't stop having me go in for blood work until it was under 100. There were close to 3000 at one point so was definitely losing a lot of blood, willingly or unwillingly. I would bleed for a couple days and then stop for a couple. This went on for at least six weeks before I finally decided to just go back on birth control to get my body back on track. Once I did that I stopped bleeding. I was finally physically done with that process.

The Saga...To Be Continued

Lazy Time

I came out of my room I saw this. It was just too funny. Definitely a lazy time at the Thomas household. I love that Matthew looks so comfortable with his legs on the other chair.

 

 

 

Oh, and we got another one to join them. I think I ended up joining them too to text someone on my phone. When i sat down and started doing it I just burst out laughing. It is good to have some down time every once in awhile:)

 

 

Reunited with Friends

Many moons ago, about 5 to 6 years of moons ago, we had a friend that lived in northern VA (who had once lived in Bryan) email me letting me know that some friends of theirs were going to moving to Bryan for graduate school and were going to be coming down to look for a house. She wanted to know if I knew where any cheap places to stay were. After talking to Chris about it, I emailed her back and told her I knew where a REALLY cheap place to stay was, our house. So we got in contact with each other and Mike and Allison Trousdale drove from Houston and found our house and we met them as we opened the door. It was so fun to get to know them. They stayed for three days and they found a house in the Bryan 1st ward. Then they moved in a few months later. Their only daughter at the time was 2 years old. They didn't bring her when they came looking. They arrived in August.
I remember the first Sunday they were here, I remember seeing a really cute little blonde girl in nursery that I had never seen before and figured that had to be Elaina. Right before they moved they had their second little girl.
Allison and I have become great friends and Mike and Chris have become great friends. Also, our children just love playing together. They now have another little toddler boy but we don't have one small enough for him to play with.
We loved being with them and were really sad when they moved away in June. In fact I wrote about that on my blog, about how depressed I was that Allison was gone. When they drove away, we never knew that just 8 months later we were going to be living close to each other again, at be able to visit. What a fun surprise.
That has kind of really helped the kids with leaving all of their friends in Texas because, "we at least get to be closer to Elaina and Erin now!!!" They said that over and over and over.
Two weeks ago we had planned on going up to DC to visit them but then our car was getting transported here and just knew that it would be arriving sometime during the weekend so we weren't able to go visit them.
Then last weekend we were going to go up to PA to visit my brother and his family since Matthew didn't have school on Monday. We had everything planned and even my other brother in CT was going to go to PA as well. However, Friday afternoon my sister-in-law called to tell me her kids were sick. We all opted that we probably shouldn't go. Allison has been talking about it all week and counting down the days "until we get to go to our cousins house." She remembers her cousins from the family reunion and really wanted to see them.
When I broke the news to her that we were going to be able to go because cousins were sick she was very sad, but then she said, "We could go visit Erin and Elaina!"
Spencer in CT has suggested that we drive up there for the weekend and I was contemplating driving the 7 hours to get up there. However, then it started snowing really hard. I say it was a blizzard because I haven't had to drive in snow like that in over 11 years. I am not sure what exactly qualifies a blizzard. It was snowing really heavily and it was hard to see anything, but the wind wasn't blowing so I am not sure that is a true blizzard. I am not used to driving on snow anymore and just coming home from an appointment I was sliding around. I decided that I didn't want to drive 7 hours in this. It probably would have taken me a whole lot longer too. We opted to just stay home once we got home.
In the morning, it had stopped and I went outside to see how the roads were. Once you got to the major roads they were just water by that point. We decided to hop in the car and drive to DC to see the Trousdales just about 24 hours.
Everybody picked up right where we left off 8 months ago. There wasn't any shyness or weirdness. Everybody was excited to see each other.
We had fun being with them.
Here are most the kids.


My birthday was the previous day so Allison was so sweet to make me brownies and we had ice cream with them. It was yummy and very special. That was so nice of her to do that. I even got sung to.
All the kids were excited to have a little party, per se.
Thank you Allison for making me feel special and making those brownies for me!
Oh and by the way we went out to Cafe Rio for dinner before this. I have heard so many good things about this place but never really wanted to follow that fad. Anyways we went and boy was it good. I wish we had it here. It was SUPER yummy, there was a ton to eat, and it wasn't really expensive. Oh boy was it good. It was a great birthday dinner.

My little family around my birthday brownies.

They have a terrible time for church, 1pm.
We had been spoiled with 9am church the whole time we lived in  Bryan.
Now our ward meets at 9:30am. Another great time.
Sunday morning Allison made some yummy muffins for breakfast. They all got devoured pretty quickly.
Here are our cute muffin munchkins:)

 

My THIRD Decade!!!

On the 25th of January I had a birthday. I have always had issues with this birthday. I understand why people would say 29 and holding. I don't know why this one has haunted me so much. One reason was because since I am the baby of the family I didn't think the baby was ever suppose to get old. When the magical number comes around it just didn't seem like it fit me. I am just not suppose to get that old, but I guess I don't like the alternative so I should like it more then I do.

I have had some fun birthday get-togethers with my friends in Bryan, or gone out for frozen yogurt for a girls night when it was a friend's birthday. I thought it would be this BIG ordeal, maybe Chris would throw me a huge surprise birthday party since he knew this was a big one for me.

However, once we found out we were moving, all of my hopes and dreams for a big to-do about my birthday vanished. I wasn't going to be around any of my friends. I couldn't have a birthday get-together or just have friends over, or even go out for a girls night for frozen yogurt. I thought it would be fun to go to New York City with sisters-in-law and go to a Broadway show but that never went anywhere either. I was kind of excited about going up to PA to be with my family and maybe secretly hoping they would do something for me, but alas those plans fell through. We have been trying to be tighter with our money so I didn't even get a birthday present or go out to eat. Since we were with friends the next day we did go out to eat so that was good and my friend made brownies for me and I even blew out 3 candles, one for each decade. 

My birthday was so anti-climatic this year. I thought it was going to be this big amazing thing and yet, we are being cheap, I don't have any friends to support or love me here and then it snowed really hard that day. What a bummer. We "say" we are going to celebrate it later when we are not trying to be tight but I don't think that will happen. I was just expecting so much more out of this birthday that it was a pretty big let down. Allison kept telling me that day that I could do whatever I wanted because it was my birthday.

I have to say though, Chris did make dinner and even made me a cake with frosting, and did ALL of the dishes that I had let pile up. He was trying to make it special and it was in its own way, I just expected like fireworks or something:) All in all though, it was fine, at least nothing bad happened other then snow.

I do have a lot to be thankful for though...I just can't think of any at the time....haha:)

I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband and love and supports and admires me. He treats me like the best thing that has ever happened to me and makes me feel so special. I am truly a blessed person to have him as my eternal companion. I am thankful that Chris was able to get a job. I am thankful for my two sweet and wonderful little children that I get to be a mother to. I am thankful for the heat that we have to keep us warm when it is so cold out there. I am thankful for the health that I do have. I could be healthier, I know I can but I am able to do just about what ever I want to do and I am grateful for that. There is more but I will stop there. It is crazy to actually think that I have been married for over a third of my lifetime. How funny:) I am glad I picked a great guy!!

Though I don't like actually saying the numbers of my age (I am sure I will get over that) Matthew makes sure that I don't forget how old I am. Happy third decade to me:)

The Beginning of a Saga

So this may be TMI but this is my blog and my family history. There are only a few that read this and they are obviously the ones that care about me and love me. Sharing this with some that read this will be hearing about it for the first time, others, knew about it but not all the details/emotions. I think reading my blog you will be able to get to know me and my feelings even more then you may have otherwise. Moving away from friends makes me feel alone and maybe that is why I am more willing to write my feelings on my blog more, so that my friends can still be connected, emotionally with me. Here we go:

 A long, long time ago... ok maybe I won't start there but about 4 years ago after Allison was born, Chris and I were completely done with having any more children. We loved our ideal family of four. We loved that it wasn't going to cost as much to raise them and we loved not having to deal with a newborn anymore. They are so hard and so much work, SO much work, and exhausting. We were very content with our boy and girl.

 When Allison was close to being a year, we spent a week with my brother, Mike, and his wife, Wendy. If you have read my blog for awhile you know how much I just adore this family. Well, to see the love that they had for each of their children was just so touching. I loved it and longed to have more children. The following four weeks we got to spend in northern Virginia with a couple we had never met. Chris went to do research every day but I stayed with my kids. I really wanted to have more. One night the couple was gone and we were all playing hide and go seek and just playing and having so much fun as a family. I looked at Chris and said, I would like to have more children. He was like what, I thought we both had agreed that we didn't want anymore. Yep, we did, but now I do. So that was in 2009. Chris doesn't always have the most patience with the kids and so he has been more against having anymore kids.

 Then in the summer of 2010 we drove to UT from Texas. We were in the car so long together and it was fun and we all loved it. CHRIS even loved it:) That is a good sign for me. We talked about maybe someday having more, which is a HUGE improvement for Chris. Though we weren't ready to make that commitment just yet.

 In 2011 we were scrunched in that first apartment...not a good time to be thinking about adding another one. 

To Be Continued...you will just have to keep coming back to my blog to find out what happens next.